Written by

Ryan O’Harris

Dio is attending a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.


So I guess I am supposed to tell you that I am an alcoholic and how long I have been sober.  Well I do like to drink but I am afraid being sober is not my cup of tea.   Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you who I am.  My name is Dionysus.   I am Greek as my name suggests.  Most people don’t believe it when I tell them who I am.  I guess as long as I am here I might as well entertain myself.  As I said I am Dionysus.   The God of the grape harvest, winemaking, wine, and the God of ritual madness and fertility.   I know.  Now you think I am mad, crazy, insane, or maybe you prefer the more clinical descriptions that have been ascribed to me.  I have been called delusional,  filled with aberrations, delirium, dementia, derangement, fanaticism, psychopathy and so many more.  It’s become quite mundane and boring to me.  You see I have been stripped of all my adornments, my royal accoutrements, and indeed forced to where clothes.  How disgusting.  There was a time during my sensuous, naked, androgynous youth that I would arrive triumphant from a place beyond all known civilizations in my chariot drawn by lions and tigers.  My very presence would create a frenzied response from the masses. Wine would be poured, music would fill the air, and ecstatic dance would free my followers from self-conscious fear and care and they would subvert the oppressive restraints of the powerful and yield to my every need.  (He looks at his watch.)  Oh, dear God!  Or should I say “Oh, dear me!”.  Do any of you have change for a dollar?  The time is running out on my meter and I here the meter ladies around here are unyielding.  Sorry but I must run.


Black Out



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